Trauma Bonding with Money? Why We Need Skills to Locate Safety with Money
What is trauma bonding with money?
Trauma bonding with money happens when you fail to locate your financial needs and assert them in ways which restores trust and harmony.
Trauma bonds generate either explosive relationships or starved, isolated ones.
They dislocate you from the clarity needed to attune with your critical needs.
They fragment you and create survival states with money.
They leave you feeling victimized, confused and lost.
They cause hiding, pain, shame and suffering.
We bond with money intimately.
It is a relational bond.
Often we don’t know how to locate our money relationship or understand the triggers surrounding this relationship.
Often we are trying to locate from our heads and not our body’s intelligence.
Often we don’t understand how to work with our nervous system and brain to access ourselves resourcefully.
We become too overwhelmed.
Most of my clients are confused with how to locate their money story.
They are defeated.
Defeated by self will to become PERFECT or worthy of goodness.
Defeated by debt or financial chaos in relationships.
Defeated by confusion on how to locate their ambitions, desires and needs in healthy ways.
The feel tangled because they can’t read their signals, trust their impulses and make decisions.
What needs to happen to interrupt the cycle?
We need to drill into the body and locate our unconscious threat.
We need to understand the system holding the trauma bond in place will NOT be the system to unleash it.
As we learn to identify the unconscious threat, we can assist discharging the threat to restore dignity and safety.
When we are NOT able to locate the threat in our money relationship, our nervous system response will trigger us into a fight/flight or freeze response.
When our money system is hijacked in a fight/flight/freeze response we become disorganized and vulnerable to money trauma and drama.
What needs to happen?
We need to learn to locate our money story from our body intelligence, NOT our head.
When our body and nervous system are not safe with money, numbers, visibility and clarity, we STRUGGLE.
We need to learn to regulate our internal threat responses to one of neutrality and safety.
As we do this, something magical happens.
Space for biological capacity.
Space to access another part our system, a part of us that longs to become more self-expressed, seen and assertive.
Space for this part of us to harmonize within our needs, integrate wholeness and belong meaningfully.
Space to discover a new way of living, a new way of being and a new way to claim our value with money.
We can do this together.
Join us for a FREE mini Untangle Course on locating: here
Angela McKinney is an author, executive coach and integrated trauma expert whose teachings span a global client base. Untangle & Thrive mission is to help millions of people come out of the shadows of hiding and gather skills to organize a thriving life. Angela gives clients the skills they need to reorganize capacity to thrive within their life and career.